Threats

There are rules for women that don't exist for men. No one has to sit you down and tell them to you, it is something we all figure out one way or another. Heck, some christian websites make surveys, asking men what the rules are so that they can let women know. This sociological images post is all about how much young christian dudes appreciate modesty, and what clothes/actions are modest.

Most value modesty a lot in future wives, and have a very old fashioned view of what modesty means. These dudes superficially take responsibility for their behavior in between the huge list of ways women can fuck up modesty, and after claiming that immodest behavior entices men and creates lust that is so impossibly hard to resist. It is the same way that I know I shouldn't steal, but if you leave something valuable right there in front of me, or show off how you have money, well, it created a lust for money in me that is hard to control! Which is to say, that they didn't take responsibility at all.

The young christian dudes looking to meet a modest lady also make it apparent that they want to care about their girlfriends as people, and that the sexuality of women makes it hard for them to do that. They make it seem as though sexual appeal causes them to objectify women, to think of them as less human, when sexuality is a human thing to experience. The comments from men in the survey make it clear that they feel like women force them to feel sexual things, like women are hurting them by trying to ruin their spiritual purity. Sexuality is constructed for young christians as something dirty and shameful and uncontrollable, something they have to have constant vigilance against in order to escape young adulthood spiritually unscathed.

Most of all this system makes women into sex. Their bodies are not allowed any other function than to beam out rape-me-rays with every appearance of female anatomy. Seeing a boob jiggle (while walking!) was rated unsavory to some of these guys, as if boobs lack a non sexual function that require jiggly tissue. The rules and guidelines all push women to hide their femaleness, and for people to be unable to look at a naked women without seeing her as a source of sex. Girls learn that their bodies are there for something, for someone elses sexuality most of all. They never get to just live in themselves, they have to conceal the horrible power in their bodies so boys will consider them human beings instead of as meat. Weirdly enough, performing femininity correctly is the antidote to appearing female. Girls have to watch the way that they dress and act and move in order to not entice anyone. It is a constant chore. Wrapped up in that are other feminine virtues like looking pretty and not offending people.

A young girl might read the opinions of the pro-modesty men and think it is sweet. What strikes a young girl as sweet (since he wants to listen and care for her) is wrapped up inside a threat. If she does femininity wrong then there are consequences for her that dehumanize her and make her impossible to marry. Some girls never get a chance because of their family or their appearance, their race or class, or because they were raped or abused already.

This is why women and girls bother to play this game. The threat is fucking scary. The threat means that you are fair game to the same group of men who really *want* to not objectify you, but can't seem to help it, or other men who don't even pretend to want to know you. It means servicing countless men instead of one.

It means that when someone sells a videotape of your sexual assault for money the jury rules against you. They say that your being in a bar meant you wanted a guy to pull your top off, and saying "no" audibly isn't as meaningful of consent as your existing in the bar with your boobs. It means simply being in a bar and dancing means you are fair game for being made into pornography (that you never see a dime for). It means that women like jane doe who are down to dance and drink somewhere must want it all the time. It means that women who really thought they could enjoy sexual freedom are beaten down with it eventually.

The threat is all out in the open for women in the underclass of sluts, and it is not a coincidence that women who are trying to stay out of that group give up potential power in order to stay safe. Uppity women don't make it far at being feminine, and they don't get to be important people's wives as a result. The visibility of underprivileged women in the political arena is almost non existent. The threat of violence and loss of social standing is an extremely efficient way to mold an army of obedient women (it sure works well here in Zion). It is a game to divide us, both camps of women insult each other for the choices that were made (if any) by the other group.

Women who want so much more in life than safety, who want freedom and go after it are chasing a dream that a more liberal faction of dude sells to em. The porn dream that there are women who will enjoy whatever men feel like doing to her, not knowing she can't undo her sex class status if she finds out it really isn't all that fun. It is a permanent mark wear/impurity on her (objects get over used), instead of being experience (which is what people get from living). She is permanently marked for that usage, and many dudes from all parts of the spectrum benefit. This is why I don't think pro choice dudes are automatically my ally- some men just want abortion and birth control legal so they have more opportunities to get laid without paying for children, not because they give a damn about female sexual autonomy. Most are for legalizing prostitution (which is different than decriminalizing it).

The threat keeps women in line, but it doesn't keep violence at bay. None of this shit works. Women are all united by this reality- the men who beat and rape women usually know their victims, and they come from all kinds of homes. The attempt at damage control is a small dream compared to being free from violence in general, and it is something we can all strive for. There isn't any rule that men have to behave this way or that they cannot be held accountable.